To read archived messages from John and Lucinda, click on a month.

May 2, 2005

Dear Friends and Family:

Seven years ago today we were married in our back yard by the Reverend Talitha Arnold with two friends in attendance. It was a warm, sunny day. Lucinda’s bridal gown was a white pant suit which she ran out from work to buy the previous day. We toasted with champagne and then went out to dinner. Little did we know what would be in store to test the vows we made on that afternoon.

Today it is cloudy, blustery and even spitting snow. We are not the same people who stood together in the sunlight that day. We are a bit grayer, carrying more girth and certainly battle scarred. We are also more in love, stronger and happier to wake up each morning. This must be what it’s all about.

Much love,
John and Lucinda


May 6, 2005

Dear Friends and Family,

We learned this week that an old friend of Lucinda’s passed away on the day of our anniversary. Pam and Lucinda first met in Ohio over 30 years ago and though their paths crossed intermittently through the years, they had been out of touch for quite a long time. Pam, like many other souls from our pasts, showed up on this website during the darkest days of our illness to offer encouragement and support. It was one of the gifts of our tragedy to once again have a connection with so many people we had lost. As some of those very people have recently passed on to a place where we can no longer hear them, it is with great humility that we thank them for helping us to survive. We found this entry that Pam sent to the website in November of 2002.

"Dear Lucinda,
You and John are in my thoughts and in my prayers each day. Even though I've not met John, I feel like I've had a chance to catch a glimpse of him in the wonderful postings from your friends and family. I'm not sure that you'll remember this but all those years ago when you visited us in Boston, you and I had our fortunes told. Yours was that there was a great love out there for you, a man who would be totally devoted to you. From everything I've heard, that is true. I am so pleased that you and John have so much love and support to sustain and nourish you both during the challenges that lie ahead".
Wednesday November 27th 2002 1:02 PM NYC

Thank you, Pam. Fly high in peace and happiness.

Our hearts are with Paul and Sally and all of Pam’s family and friends during this difficult time.


John and Lucinda



May 9, 2005

Dear Friends and Family,

Happy Birthday to Trey Tull and to Trey’s twin cousins Malika and Harrison . Happy belated Mother’s Day to all who are official mothers as well as to all who have done any mothering in their lives (most of the population we suspect).

It is hard to believe that John Tull has just started out on the 4th week of being Wally Worker. His strength and endurance are improving daily. He loves his job and we believe that it is more suited to him than any other job we could imagine. Life is pretty dad gum good.

Much love,

John and Lucinda



May 12, 2005

Dear Friends and Family,

John Tull was interviewed on one of the local TV news stations earlier this week because a woman had just been diagnosed with plague up in Durango, Colorado and so they wanted to do a plague survivor story. He happened to be wearing a nice suit that day as he was on his way to an out of town meeting. He struck quite an impressive pose sitting behind his desk and was quite eloquent. The next day he was recognized when he stopped in at a McDonald’s in Espanola by a very sweet lady who works there. She said that he was the “milagro man” who was on the television. We love this state.


John and Lucinda


May 17, 2005

Dear Friends and Family:

All continues to be positive in our lives at the moment. John Tull jumps out of bed in the mornings and whistles while preparing to head off to his place of employment. (Has he really lost his mind?)

Guess who turns 56 on Friday? Two birthdays ago he was still in the hospital. Last year was a much better birthday, but this year will be the very best in a few years!! We shall celebrate appropriately.

No news on any of our friends who are experiencing illness. No change in poor Kenny at this time.

Love,
John and Lucinda


May 23, 2005

Dear Friends and Family,

Our last note was about our dear friend Kenny Karr taking flight on May 22. Just some hours earlier, while we knew that Kenny was on his way out, we celebrated the 56th birthday of John Tull who had been pals with Kenny since kindergarten. Kenny helped both of us stay alive and we have shed more tears today than we have in a long time. We are both so grateful that he came to visit last September and wrote the following as an update to this site:

Update September 19, 2004
"KenDog here with a hello to all John and Lucinda pals:

Yep. Right here in Sante Fe at the Tull home. I can report good news as well as some surprises for me that are on the negative side.

First the setting. Been here with my lady guest since Thursday taking in all the sights and sounds of this desert oriented location. Of course, it is easier to develop an appreciation of the area with the thorough and highly descriptive history lessons that abound from Johnny and Lucinda. She actually is grounded in the area history due to her former work here as a tour guide. Her insights, coupled with JT’s natural tendency to be so complete in his running narrative descriptions and historical stories, give us a clear perspective about the area. Can’t you just hear him?

Looking out the Tull’s kitchen window over their sink, I can see for 80 miles to the Sandia Mountains with no housing or highway interruptions. It is truly wonderful and a peaceful home location. Lots of birds to engage Tull and his watching hobby as he and Lucinda try to figure out just what type bird this or that one may be. They are cute interacting in this mode. It is lighthearted.

But, there is a sense of seriousness that pervades the atmosphere 24/7.
I did not expect this as I had bought into all the positive reports about JT and even his very own words about his progress. He is progressing in miraculous ways no doubt. But, there is much ground he must still cover in his journey. Yes, he drove by himself to pick us up in Albuquerque, does many tasks by himself…however, there is so much each of us must do daily that for Johnny are such formidable efforts: walk across the room and get a glass for water: go to another part of the house and get his glasses he left behind in the bedroom… These all take time and a plan for Johnny. Numerous chores around the house that must be done. He cannot at this time do them. Thus, Lucinda is still on the major hook to provide so very many duties and services it is indeed daunting to witness. This all in addition to her work. Unreal load to do.

Tired is an applicable word around here. Support from all of us that was once so strong, has now all but dissipated due to our thinking that all was smooth sailing for them. I felt this way and failed to continue to write and contact them. Many of you did the same. The loser in all this? Lucinda-the one on the frontline every day with loads of responsibilities and pressure to make things happen. I am embarrassed to say that I have not continued my support. I am going forward with a renewed interest and commitment to be a strong advocate of Lucinda’s. Her efforts, now that I am here and can see for myself, are nothing short of Herculean. She is astounding in her loyalty and work ethic.
She is a true GAMER. Therefore, I will be a frequent contributor to the communication with each of them as I was before. This situation demands our redoubling of efforts. About that I am extremely clear and garner that perspective from a first-hand look and feel of the situation.

Lastly, John’s spirit is robust and positive, but the book project that requires he travel back in time to the darkest of his moments, can run over his ass so strongly that he can be down and not very functional on certain days. Nevertheless, the book project, their salvation in some areas, must go on. He trucks on and should be vehemently urged by us frequently to get the thing completed. Onward toward the light John !

I am humbled at this situation. Its’ wondrousness is short of my expectations. I always want the best for my friends. I know you do too. Our help is needed in the on-going struggle John and Lucinda awaken to every day. Will we be there as before? Can you email or call friends who once were frequent website viewers and writers of notes to the Tulls, and ask that they recommit their support. I can. I will.

Handshakes, Hugs and Kisses,
KenDog"

Everyone loved the KenDog. Please, if you will, send this big sweetheart who has left us for some other place a message. He'll be happy to keep gabbing.
Much love,
John and Lucinda




May 22, 2005

Dear Friends and Family,

Our dear friend Kenny Karr passed away last night. He had developed a very bad infection around his feeding tube early last week and it was removed. His breathing had become quite labored and it was apparent that he was on his way out. A couple of his close friends and his cousin were with him most of the week. We plan to attend the memorial service in Austin.

Adios amigo. We love you.

John and Lucinda


May 25, 2005

Dear Friends and Family,

We go to Austin in the morning to say goodbye to Kenny and to gather with some of the many good friends he made in his life. Kenny leaves almost no “family” but spent a lifetime building a family of friends who loved him and who would do anything for him. We will all miss him dearly.

Have a good Memorial Day weekend and spend some time remembering.

Much love,
John and Lucinda